Anxiety Combat #4 - The Ironic Party

Anxiety Combat #4 - The Ironic Party

Last weekend, my boyfriend suggested we go to a get together at his friends house. He told me same day the get together was scheduled and I instantly declined. I said that it was too short notice, I didn't feel like I could and that I didn't feel up to meeting any new people.
I said I was happy to take him and pick him up though.
He said he felt a bit down about it, because he had envisioned us having a nice chilled night together and wanted me to come and meet the last of his best friends I haven't already met.

I still had to say no. I felt far too nervous and I just think I would relax enough to be myself.

I dropped him off at work and went home. I sat at home and ran my errands, It got closer to the time I would be needing to pick him up and take him to the party. I decided that because I wanted to spend the evening with him, and I didn't want to stay in all evening by myself and wallow in self pity that I would actually get ready and go. It would be a nice surprise for him when I picked him up.
I sorted out a comfortable outfit, did my most comfortable make up routine and hopped in the car. I was excited to show Perry that I wanted to go.

When I collected him, he was pleased and I just advised him that I decided to drive just in case I felt I needed to leave.

What happened when I got there was what I least expected. I met a few of his friends that I hadn't met before. Some of the smokers went outside and I was left in the kitchen with two girls.
This kind of situation normally sends my anxiety through the roof. They always seemed just so confident and 'normal' compared to me. I found it so hard.

One of the girls was the hosts girlfriend, and the other was her best friend.
We got chatting and they were so friendly and I relaxed a little. I don't know if it's just me, but when it comes to anxiety, if I feel myself not relaxed, I feel like a giant compared to other people around me. I feel like my whole presence is just big and that I am noticed with every move I make. I have heard of people feeling small, but i'm really not sure about feeling big?! (please let me know?!).

So anyway, it turned out that neither of the girls actually had wanted to come either. They both had felt nervous about not knowing anyone and said they had both contemplated not coming.

I instantly calmed down completely. This was the best thing I could of hoped for in the most selfish way possible. We bonded over the fact that none of us had felt ready for the evening and sat down to talk. We talked for ages about all sorts of things and I really liked them both.
After chatting I discovered they had both suffered with bouts of anxiety and we chatted about our experiences.

I will definitely keep in touch with both of these girls I am so glad I decided to go.

What I really want to say I suppose, it that I know how hard it can be, and I know how making the decision to get out can sometimes take all you have, but it might just be totally worth it. You never know who you're going to meet.


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