'Relapsing'

Hey everyone,

It has been a while!! It has taken me a long time to sit down and write this. Perry does have to be credited as well though, because his persistent use of 'FIFA' on the playstation has lead me back here!

Picture credit Amelia Hay

So, as most of you know, I went on holiday to Greece at the beginning of June. It was the most wonderful and relaxing experience. Perry and I fell asleep on the beach and after we woke up, we strolled back to our hotel, hand in hand, in a wonderful knowing silence. I remember that I had never felt so calm and relaxed. We went into the local shop and made a purchase. On our way out, I thought 'I didn't even think about that, I just did it'. A simple thing, you might think; But, if you are like me and a sufferer of an anxiety disorder, you'll know what an achievement that was.

I felt great, but since returning home, I have hit one of the worst relapses i've had in over a year.

Now, in my defence (not suggesting at all here that excuses need to be made...!), I started my new medication. I felt pretty awful for the first couple of weeks, but I knew this was likely in the adjustment period and my doctor had warned me about this. It has now been 6 weeks since I started these tablets. I have to say, I am still not sure. I can't say it's the meds that have caused a relapse, because there is no evidence to suggest this is the case, But I certainly do not feel better.
That being said, I think these tablets have the ability to 'elevate' any mood. So, if you're feeling slightly happy, it's heightened, however this would be same if you were feeling low, fed up, stressed etc.

I have always said I would never go back to medication, and Wednesday I start my first counselling session. I am hoping that this will assist me in helping me discover my unknown triggers, combat some past demons, and get anxiety a bit more under control.

I would just like to take this opportunity to thank anyone who has sent me well wishes or tweeted me in the absence of my blog! It's so nice to be welcomed by the blogging community and know there's always someone online to chat to - day or night!!

For those struggling with anxiety or depression, you can find links on my twitter @15twentyfive,
alternatively you can call the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 (UK) or email them on jo@samaritans.org - or you can reach out to anxiety uk, MIND or the wellbeing service. 

Good luck with your journey, and thank you for reading mine :)

Be back soon...(promise)